Monkey Business
by SllnaaEsh
Summary: Ivan is the perfect mixture of his mothers. CopDoc.


_one shot set in the same universe as You Own Me. _

* * *

Ivan is four and is a funny mixture of both of his mothers. He's brilliant but also likes to pull pranks on his teachers - like the time he pretended he only spoke Swedish the first three days of headstart. He was punished at the school, but at home, Lauren and Tamsin didn't quite see eye to eye on how to approach his behavior. Tamsin had given him a high-five while Lauren wasn't looking. Lauren had him write a letter to his teacher in apology.

Tonight, Tamsin and Lauren are sitting in their SUV (It took months to convince Tamsin to buy such a cliche family car, but Lauren won by a lengthy powerpoint presentation about car safety and efficiency) on their way home after a spontaneous date night.

"I can't believe you tipped that much, babe," Tamsin says. She's not particularly annoyed; she's kind of awestruck, but she'd never admit that.

"What?" Lauren begins. "He was a twenty year old college student. Did you see his shoes? They were practically falling off of his feet!"

"But, a hundred dollar tip?"

"Please, like we aren't swimming in money right now. My patents are paying for our son's ridiculously priced private school."

Tamsin smiles at the mention of Ivan. "Only the best for my boy."

They make out in the car for fifteen minutes before heading inside their house.

The door opens before they even reach for their keys.

"Oh, thank God!" Kenzi utters.

"How was he?" Lauren asks.

"Why did you teach him to speak?!" Kenzi exclaims. "He wanted to play doctor. He said I needed an inoculation to prevent me from a level two disease! What are you teaching him?!"

"He likes the discovery channel and has this fucking weird obsession with the CDC," Tamsin says as she shrugs.

"He has an obsession with letters?" Kenzi asks, confused.

"Center for disease control," Lauren answers.

"Disease? Wha- you know what. I don't even want to know. I gave him a bath an hour ago, and he ate a slice of pizza. He is in his room 'researching.'"

"Thank you, Kenzi."

"Don't mention it. Peace out!" Kenzi says through a smile before she heads out the door.

Kenzi is a surprisingly good friend to the blondes. She loves children, especially Ivan even if she pretends babysitting is a bother. Sometimes, Bo comes around with that wounded puppy look, but even she can't help but coo at Ivan.

"Let's go see what your son is researching," Lauren says through a wide smile.

"Why is he just my son when he is researching?" Tamsin asks through a huff.

"Because that's his code word for mischief."

They walk toward his bedroom and smile at his door. It's decorated with spaceships and little stickers of the TARDIS.

Tamsin knocks and hears a "You may enter!" She quirks an eyebrow and laughs under her breath.

Once they open the door, they are met with a strange display: Ivan's three stuff monkey animals are in tiny business suits around his tea set and table.

Lauren tilts her head and raises her eyebrows in amusement.

Tamsin speaks first with, "Hey, buddy. Havin' a fun tea party?"

Ivan clears his throat and straightens his tie (which isn't even done right, and did Kenzi dress him in a business suit after his bath?) and says, "Hello, mommy. Hello, mom. What brought you to visit my room?"

"Uh, well. We missed you so much," Tamsin says in a soft voice.

"Ivan, what are you doing?" Lauren asks.

"I'm just, you know, having a business type thing," Ivan states calmly.

"A business thing?"

"Yep. Mr. Fuzzy, Ms. Banana, and Ms. Kenzi and I have gathered for business," he declares as he puffs out his chest.

"Business?" Tamsin asks.

"Yes, mommy."

"Well, I hope you have good investors," Tamsin jokes. Lauren jabs her elbow into Tamsins side.

"Ow!"

"He's four!" Lauren whispers in agitation.

"He understands."

Ivan crosses his arms across his chest and huffs. He looks up to the ceiling and forlornly says, "An hour of my life is wasted!"

The two mothers focus their attention on their son in bewilderment.

"What?" They both ask simultaneously.

"I was hoping you'd come home and ask what this monkey business was about!"


End file.
